Mexico Week 65 -- Finding Peace in the Storms

Dear Family! 

Today marks the start of my last transfer! I will be finishing my mission here in Uruapan with Hermana Villa! Does that freak you guys out or what? I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that I only have 6 weeks left.  I’ve been reflecting a lot on my whole mission and how beautiful it has been and how much I miss people from other areas and how much I’ll miss people that are here, but I then I get excited to see y’all at the same time!  Who knows??!!  Too many feelings! 

But to explain my pictures to you! 

This week I had splits with Hermana Peña! She’s too cute and too funny and we had a good time here in Jardines! We taught some great lessons and I have some good goals for my last little bit here. 

This is Hermana Castillo. She helped us in some of our appointments this week and she just hit one year as a member. We visited her last night and she was kind of in a rough spot with some family situations and as I hugged her I just told her to hang in there and not get discouraged. She started crying and it’s the first time I’ve seen her cry. I love her so much and we’re looking for ways to help her. Hermana Maribel is also going through rough stuff right now and last night we knocked on her door and her kids told us she was showering.  The house was a wreck, so we snuck in and cleaned.  We wrote her a note, and were getting ready to leave, but then she caught us!  So, we stayed a little longer and shared a message with her.  She kind of had a moment too.  Hey!  We all have those little moments!

Hermana Caracosa is in our ward here.  Her 18 year-old son died after two weeks in the hospital.  He got sick and two weeks later died as they found an infection in his brain.  She went to church yesterday and sat in the back. She looked so sad and alone, we went and sat with her.  She just started crying.  We have been visiting her this week too.

I realized in the last 24 hours that there are so many people suffering. This life isn’t easy and the only thing that gives us peace is living the gospel. Your heart just breaks in like a hundred different pieces and you start looking for talks or scriptures or something to help, or you start writing a note, and there are just so many people that need us to lift them up or bring them light. I feel like our whole lives can be productive and happy if we are constantly serving and thinking about others instead of our own problems. 

Got to love my best friend Victor. He says that he’s going to invite me to his baptism in about three years and that if I cry, he’ll hug me.  Precious right? 

We went to visit Hermana Karla this week and we found her in bed because she felt really bad.  We started cleaning her house ... sweeping, mopping, dishes, putting her clean clothes out to dry, and then the elders call and tell us that the family we were going to eat with isn’t home and so we start thinking of who we can call. Hermana Karla hears and tells us that we’ll be eating with her. She is precious and we love her, but money is so tight.  She leaves and we see her ask her neighbor for money and then goes a buys chicken and other things and sits us down to eat. I felt the Spirit so much and people that literally have nothing give us everything they have. They are so humble and just give and give and it was special there with her in her house and she’s also getting closer and closer to being prepared for baptism! 

Walking later, we find Hermana Hermila who’s less active and her partner Alfonso who’s Catholic about to wash the car. We decide to help them and it was so fun. Then, on Sunday, they show up at church for the first time in about three months! 

 Claudia and Naty!  Woo! Hoo!  I have some great stories from this last week!! They are progressing so much.  They have been working on the word of wisdom and keeping the Sabbath day holy.  They still don’t feel like they are ready for baptism though.  Hermano Eduardo went with us to teach them and we felt the Spirit so much. We decided to fast with them so that she and we can know if she’s ready. It was such a powerful and she told us that she wants to be baptized because she wants to change and start over and lighten her burdens and she receives every commandment with an obedient heart and they went to church on Sunday and she was taking pictures of the manual in relief society because she liked what it said and wanted to read it again later! Haha! They fasted!! Naty too!! We love them so much and when they found out I was going home in six weeks, they weren’t too fond of the idea and are already making plans so that I visit.  I love them too much!  Oh, and one day we showed her one of Jeffrey R. Holland’s talks and we left YouTube there in her house. She tells us the next day that she watched videos for 3 hours!! General Conference talks, Mormon Messages, but she was there till her son kicked her out! Crazy right? She is so great. 

Talking about General Conference, after watching the talk with Hermana Claudia, I became practically obsessed with Conference Talks, but listening to them. I’m going to download them in English today because I have tantas ganas to listen to their voices! It’s not the same in Spanish. I am turning into a Conference junkie!

This is the Ortiz family! They helped us out on Sunday when our meal plans fell through and they are so great.  Their teenagers are passing through a rowdy stage and we talked a lot about the importance of family home evening, family prayer, and they are so excited to start! 

I was thinking about how so many times in this life, we pass through storms. The winds start, the rain starts, or hail, and we kind of panic.  Ha! Ha!  I have been learning so much about finding peace in the storms. The hymns are my happy safe place. I know you’ll make fun of me for my MoTab CD, but I love the music. It’s one of the first things that instantly helps me feel peace. I love the words of the prophets, just hearing their voices also makes me feel peace. I am learning so much about the enabling power of the Atonement. Without prayer, without the scriptures, without obedience, the storms last so much longer. With the Lord’s help, we are passing by with rain boots, a huge umbrella, and a long rain jacket! 

As I read the emails from today, something totally hit me.  Sometimes it is really easy to get stressed in the mission. I think, well actually I’m pretty sure, my goal for my last transfer is expressing my love for everyone every day ... for the Lord, for my companion, for the members, for our leaders, for our investigators, literally everyone, and my focus for these last six weeks is going to be showing sincere love every day. 

I love y’all tons. I know that the Lord lives. I know that He forgives. I know that He wants us to be happy. I love y’all too much! 

Mexico Week 45 -- Hope and Confidence

To my favorite people in the whole world!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Can you believe it’s already 2015?! Can you also believe I’ve been a missionary for a year?  Time flies when you’re having fun!

The truth is ... I want to share a ton of things with you guys this week! 

This adorable girl is Megan’s age.  She is the bishop’s daughter and she is a doll!  She is literally the sweetest. We have lots of fun with her.

Also, all of my favorite fruits are out of season so I have switched to tomatoes with avocados and salt almost every night. I LOVE THE PRODUCE HERE! 

 The pictures of me with the magenta shirt and yellow sweater are the last official pictures of 2014!

Big thanks to Angie Smith for sending this adorable Christmas package!  Ben’s letter made me laugh and almost tear up a little bit. 

 Also, big thanks to Sister Carroll ...  A Christmas letter from her also showed up this week. 

Our less active young men went to church this week!  They live with their mom but she doesn’t want to have anything to do with the church. She has three boys and they are too funny. We were so happy to see them show up at church!

Okay I am going to tell y’all the coolest story ever. Tomorrow is Dia de Reyes, or when the wise men show up. They make huge cakes and the Nino Dios is inside.  Today at Walmart one of the workers wanted to pick my milk for me, and then tells me to cut myself some of the cake to see if it had the baby inside.  What do you know? I WON!! Ha! Ha!  They gave me free strawberry and chocolate milk. Classic. 

 Also, I had splits with Hermana Durnford this week!  She is a new sister training leader and she’s precious.  I had a great time with her!  She is so humble and I admire her a lot. I remember when she got here!  She got here one transfer after me and stayed in our house!  It is so cool to see these same missionaries again and see how much they’ve grown. 

Okay now for the people!  We are teaching a couple named Miguel and Jasmin.  They’re not married and they have a history of drug use, but they’re precious. They’ve been to church two consecutive weeks now! We had a lesson with them this week with a married couple that has recently come back to church.  The lesson was so special and wow, this gospel truly blesses families.  I feel so blessed to have grown up in the gospel. Their son Sammy, said the prayer, and he says “Please bless Hermana Rawe and … and ... the other Hermana.”  We were all cracking up and I just felt special that he knows and can pronounce my name.  He’s like four years old and is absolutely adorable. 

Another miracle this week was the Velazquez family.  We have been focusing on the grandparents and the kids because they show more interest.  The kids were precious this week!  They asked their moms for permission and were awake and ready EARLY Sunday morning.  Members picked them up and they LOVED church.  These two girls, Magali and Karen are adorable.  Hermano Jose took them home and they were telling their moms all about church and how they want to keep going.  We are hoping with their enthusiasm that we can inspire the rest of the house.  But I do love the kids!  The other three are Rubi’s kids that are friends with them.  They go to church, walking, every week by themselves.  The 12 year old gets them all ready and to church on time.  I am so amazed by the faith of some people! 

Hermano Jose just keeps progressing too! He received the Aaronic priesthood this week, visited people with the Elders, and fasted! We are so proud of him and for the incredible changes we have seen in their home. 

This week we really focused on service.  Washing dishes for pressured moms, jumping in and helping wherever we could and then sharing a message.  With one mom, who is an active member, we just listened to her as we ate.  We started asking questions and we find out her oldest son is second guessing a mission, has a girlfriend, and she has been praying and going to temple.  We talked about fasting and it truly was a special lesson.  I have made a big mistake in the mission.  I have just kind of assumed that the members are good to go, not perfect, but almost like they don’t really need the missionaries and regular reminders.  This week I learned so much about how to really love and serve even active members. Sometimes they too are really struggling with their faith.  It’s so important that we stay constant.  We hear the phrases: Daily scripture study; Daily prayer; Family Home Evening; and regular temple visits.  It’s because even active members can fall if we’re not constant.  BE FIRM AND CONSTANT ... even when sometimes we think we’re strong and don’t need it. 

I have been studying the Liahona from General Conference and just wanted to share some comments with y’all because I love our church and the chosen representatives of the Lord.  I LOVED the talk, “Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence¨.  As I read the self-evaluation questions at the beginning, I began to feel terrible! There were so many things I need to work on.  Elder Klebingat says, “Whenever the adversary cannot persuade imperfect yet striving Saints such as you to abandon your belief in a personal and loving God, he employs a vicious campaign to put as much distance as possible between you and God.  The adversary knows that faith in Christ—the kind of faith that produces a steady stream of tender mercies and even mighty miracles—goes hand in hand with a personal confidence that you are striving to choose the right. For that reason he will seek access to your heart to tell you lies—lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.  As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence.  Whatever you do, whatever you pray for, whatever hopes for a miracle you may have, there will always be just enough self-doubt chipping away at your faith—not only your faith in God but also your confidence in yourself. Living the gospel in this manner is no fun, nor is it very healthy.  Above all, it is completely unnecessary!  The decision to change is yours—and yours alone.”

He mentions six steps that were just awesome!  At the end he says, “Brothers and Sisters, my counsel to this sister missionary is my counsel to you: Acknowledge and face your weaknesses, but don’t be immobilized by them, because some of them will be your companions until you depart this earth life.  No matter what your current status, the very moment you voluntarily choose honest, joyful, daily repentance by striving to simply do and be your very best, the Savior’s Atonement envelops and follows you, as it were, wherever you go. Living in this manner, you can truly “always retain a remission of your sins” (Mosiah 4:12) every hour of every day, every second of every minute, and thus be fully clean and acceptable before God all the time.”

“Yours is the privilege, if you want it, to come to know for yourself, today or soon, that you are pleasing God in spite of your shortcomings.  I testify of a loving Savior who expects us to live the commandments.  I testify of a loving Savior who is so very anxious to bestow His grace and mercy.  I testify of a loving Savior who rejoices when we apply His Atonement daily with the calm and happy assurance that we are facing in the right direction.  I testify of a loving Savior who is anxious for your “confidence [to] wax strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

This talk touched my heart so much as I realized that our message and our way of life is happy, it’s hopeful, sometimes it’s hard, but we repent and move on.  We love the Lord and trust Him and allow Him to bless us. We have to let Him in and we have to let Him change us. 

I also loved Elder Uchtdorf’s talk for the women.  He says, “My dear sisters in the gospel, whether you are 8 or 108, there is one thing that I hope you truly understand and know:  You are loved.   You are dear to your heavenly parents.  The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you.  Yes, God loves you this very day and always.  He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.  And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own.  He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you—today and always!

Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think your value to Him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or Pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward attractiveness, your dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the One who created the universe?  He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and light you have the potential and the desire to become.  More than you could ever imagine, He wants you to achieve your destiny—to return to your heavenly home in honor.   I testify that the way to accomplish this is to place selfish desires and unworthy ambitions on the altar of sacrifice and service. Sisters, trust in the saving power of Jesus Christ; keep His laws and commandments. In other words—live the gospel joyful.

It is my prayer that you will experience a renewed and an expanded measure of the beautiful love of God in your lives; that you will find the faith, determination, and commitment to learn God’s commandments, treasure them in your hearts, and live the gospel joyful.  I promise that as you do so, you will discover your best self—your real self.  You will discover what it truly means to be a daughter of the everlasting God, the Lord of all righteousness.  Of this I testify and leave you my blessing as an Apostle of the Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

This is what I’m learning here as a missionary.  This is what I want everyone to know and feel.  This love has motivated and moved me to change.  It has helped me to love myself more.  It has helped me to come to know and understand my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ more.  I love this gospel and I just want us to be happy.  I want us to joyfully live the gospel so that we can return with him as a family.  I know that I am a total nerd, but I am so ready to have my own family!!  The mission just gives me mommy fever!  Ha! Ha!  I am so excited for my life ahead of me.  I am excited to be a missionary six more months, I am excited to serve in many church callings, I am excited to study and work, I am excited to be a wife and mom, and grandma, and whatever else the Lord sends me. Be happy! 

I love you all too much! 

Mexico Week 43 -- More Humility Give Me

Can y’all believe it is already Christmas?!  Wow! Feliz Navidad!!

Time is just flying faster and faster!  I hope y’all have a great week together.

First of all, let me explain the pictures.  I found a shirt en Los Tianguis for 30 pesos!! And it´s mustard colored and super pretty, Feliz Navidad to me! 

Some people put up huge nativities here and it takes up their whole porch! Super pretty right! 

Nothing better than a good Christmas Coke! 

Hermano Oscar made a dinner that’s called birria here and well it’s super yum! Everyone was happy and eating and well, I know Hermano Oscar pretty well and asked him what’s up.  He was being really quiet. He says oh nothing, just a little tired.  Yeah, he’s about as good of a liar as dad is.  I asked him a few more times and finally he says: “Well, my Heavenly Father answered me today and it’s an answer I wasn’t wanting to receive.”  He starts to talk about how it’s time to say goodbye to the ward and leave his mom’s house and live with his wife in the other ward. He said he hadn’t slept for a few days thinking about all of this and he says, “The truth is, I was thinking about you and Hermana Malacara and Hermana Gonzalez and how I didn’t want to leave you guys.” He talked about how I was an incredible person with amazing strength that’s put up with a lot of hard stuff in these past couple weeks, but how much he admired me and how much he could never repay me, and how much he wanted me in his temple sealing in a year. He was crying and I was crying and he says “Heavenly Father told me that he has lots of work for you here and you already did your job with us.” It was just a special moment when you know you’re doing your job as a missionary. A little hard to know that he’s leaving soon, but he’s strong and he prays, and he knows his Heavenly Father. Temple sealing in one year!!! 

Speaking of this family, Hermano Jose is also making so many changes. He just keeps surprising us! First things first, he wasn’t sure if we could drink Arizona tea and so he starts telling us the story of being in the store and thinking, wait, is this against the word of wisdom? He realizes he isn’t totally sure, so he’s better off getting a Coka and asking the hermanas later. We can see how much he wants to be obedient. Sunday morning they arrived so late to church and his mom tells us afterward, “I felt terrible and he comes into my room all ready and says “Mom, aren’t we going to go to church?¨ I told him I’d change real quick!  He was just all ready to go and he’s faithful and well I gotta support him!”  Absolutely precious. Then she tells us that he was invited to Christmas parties but hasn’t gone to one of them because he says that he doesn’t drink or smoke anymore, so what’s the point? Just really surprising stuff!! 

On Friday, we had a conference with Elder Piper from the Quorum of the 70 and wow, it was so great!!! Hermana Piper is adorable. They have about 10 years serving in Russia and so she was really struggling to speak in Spanish with English, Spanish, and Russian swirling around in her head, but she is a doll and we all helped her out. I think the biggest thing that Elder Piper left with me is that I need to enjoy my mission. I need to give it all I’ve got and just love every minute. We have to be diligent. We have to love, learn, and share the missionary lessons. I think I just need to stop thinking about me and serve the people more fully, serve investigators, serve ward members, serve our leaders, serve my companion.  It’s a time of giving and giving and more giving, and I know that serving a mission is the best decision I ever made. 

Truth is, it’s been a rough month. I am learning so much and coming unto the Savior more than ever before. I love Him. I trust Him more than I ever have. I am really bad about managing stress, but this morning with some study, I learned a lot.  Actually in 20 minutes I learned what I have been missing for about a month. The Lord is with us in every step. He loves us and He understands every effort we make, actually He’s the only one who understands what we feel. 

This week I had a double infection.  Saturday I humbled up and we stayed home and Sunday I asked the Elders for a blessing. In my blessing, he commanded every illness and bad thing out of my body. I think this also applies to the high levels of stress, the discouragement, and the feelings of inadequacy. He told me how much my Father in Heaven loves me. He told me that my Savior has trusted in Hermana Gonzales and I in this area at this time. He blessed me to be a light and a guide to those around me. He blessed me to be able to find the people that were waiting for us. I felt so empowered and I know that with the Savior we can do all things.  It’s when we try to do things without Him that we have problems! 

We are working with some special people and we are really starting to see miracles here! I know that these next few months will be amazing ones! I love you all and can’t wait to talk this week!!  I’m going to be a strange little White Girl Mexican, so just go with it!

Love y’all tons! 

Mexico Week 36 -- We Can Be His Hands

Boy is it great to be living life in Tlaquepaque. Leaving the little cyber thing where we wrote you guys last week, this young chap gives me the biggest smile and passes, then comes back and says ¨Where are you from?¨ .. he thinks he’s really smooth.  I started telling him that we are missionaries and we share a message about Christ and his whole face changes .. He said, “Oh, thanks” and starts walking away.  My companion starts dying laughing and I did too.  The stories I have from things that have happened to me in the street here. 

I think I will always tell y’all that I love music. We are preparing something to sing at Hermano Oscar’s baptism and I just love singing! I love playing with music!  I have no talent whatsoever, but it does make me really, really happy! 

Fun Fact! KFC exists here and we ate there today! Wahoo!! 

Please enjoy my Halloween pictures! Ha! Ha! I think I’m pretty clever with the black dress and orange scarf .. Can’t let a Holiday slip past me! 

Hermano Oscar just keeps amazing us! We called him one night to see how it was going with cigarettes and after seeing how he’s doing he says,  ¨Hermanas do you understand that I could never repay either of you?  I can’t even describe what you have done for my life. You have changed my life and you have changed my family.  I could be a millionaire, I could give you everything you both wanted, and it would never come close!¨

We had other people, some less active members say similar things to us this week and I think so many times we just don’t realize what we do for other people. We don’t realize how much we truly can represent the Savior. I invite you all to look for opportunities to serve. In Grandpa Jay’s blessing, the Lord tells him about a million times to follow every prompting of the Spirit to serve.  I think it’s an invitation for all of us. The Lord will inspire us so that we can be His hands here. 

We’re keeping it short and simple this week. I know the Lord lives. I know that He loves us and is proud of us. I know that He will always love us no matter our imperfections. He will continue supporting us and helping us grow. I love you all to the moon and back. Be good!