Mexico Week 31 -- Lead Me, Guide Me, Walk Beside Me

My dear sweet family!  Everybody looks so grown up and happy! Wow! 

Karla came to church this week! She's one of our less active members that we found about a month and a half ago. We haven't been able to find her since, but she came to church with her mom and went to the Women's Conference Saturday night! Ahh, she is precious and just wants to do what's right. 

This lovely P-Day, we went to play the piano. I love the peace that brings. I am not really good at all, but I’m working with the simplified hymns! I was just singing and playing and thinking of the good days with Beth Ann Sands! She’ll be proud to know that I actually remember a few things! But really, the hymns are incredible. I love the peace and testimony that they bring. I know that they are gifts from our Father in Heaven and I just want to be who He needs me to be. 

Remember the HUGE family I told y’all about last week? We passed last week and only the abuelita was there. We started talking about prayer with her and she gets all teared up and tells us that she just prays every day that she’ll get up in the morning and want to live. She is really sick in her kidneys and has to go for dialysis three times a week. She tells us ¨Ya no puedo.¨or she just feels like she can’t. We give her some hugs and just let her think for a bit, and we talked about Joseph Smith when he was in Liberty Jail. The Spirit was so strong. They are an incredible family and we are going to work so much with them! 

This week we had exchanges with our Sister Training Leaders! I went to Reforma with Hermana Workman for 2 days! She has about 2 weeks in her area and it’s huge. We were pretty much lost and running around for two days, so many memories from our first weeks here. Friday, we went to her meeting with the ward mission leader and she had no idea how to get back to her area, and it was pouring rain. I forget the jacket and umbrella and we were both getting soaked and just laughing! Two white missionaries ... uhhh, do you know where we can the bus? Which bus goes for this part of town? Ha! Ha! After about an hour, I offered to pay a taxi. We get into a taxi, and it dies. About 20 minutes later we are headed back for her area! So funny!

I went back to my area Saturday and whew, I missed Tlaquepaque. In about a week, I will be halfway through my mission. I feel like time is going by faster and faster but I’m not really getting any better or helping people to have a better life. I just got really frustrated with myself, like I wasn’t being the missionary Heavenly Father needed me to be. On the bus ride to the stake center to see the Women’s Conference, I started praying, praying that He would help me, just asking Him what He wanted me to do. I prayed that in the conference He would tell me something. 

I absolutely loved the conference, especially the Asian kids singing I Am a Child of God. I guess you could say I was a little teared up. I felt the love of my Heavenly Father so strongly for the first time in a little while. I have to turn to Him more and trust Him more. He loves me so much and I started thinking about my own dad here, aka Papa Bear. He loves the heck out of me. He is my biggest cheerleader and He always wants what’s best for me. He is right there to help me whenever I need it, and I thought about my Heavenly Father. If my dad is imperfect and human and can still do all of these things, how much more can my Heavenly Father do these things? He love and support are even bigger. 

I just love the Lord. I am the farthest thing from perfect, but I do love Him. I want to be who He needs me to be. I want to believe in Him, I want to be like Him. I want to be a light to those around me. I want to do these every single day that will help me to be stronger and help me to shine more. There is so much work to do, but we don’t have to feel hopeless if we believe in the Lord. 

Sunday morning in sacrament meeting my little moment continued. During the sacrament, I was praying to know if there truly are people here that are willing to change their lives, if the Lord would guide me, if He would help me, and He answered me yes to every single one of these questions. I feel the strongest resolve just to work and forget about everything else. He promised me that there are people here and we have to find them. We have to be so, so strong! I think I need to stop trying to do this on my own. I think if I just open up a little more, He’ll guide me, He’ll teach me, and He’ll work miracles. 

Last night we went and visited our special family again. Their four-year-old twins are hilarious and slightly out of control. They are all members minus the dad. He has quite a few addictions and they need to get married, but last night we taught the Restoration. Wow, we felt the Spirit so strong and el hermano says ¨So how does this work, we need to get married first and then I can get baptized, and then the temple is after?¨ These are the moments that we read about in the scriptures, when people, after being taught say HOW? How can I have that? When they are willing to work. Mom, he has one of the cards you gave us that talks about change being a very real gift that comes from God. His wife told us that he taped it to the wall all by himself. Ahh, I love working with them because they are so special. Their family really means a lot to me, and we are going to work so diligently with them! 

I am happy. I am loving all that I’m learning and especially that I feel just a little bit better every week. I know that this is my time to act and just run around crazy working. I know that the Lord has miracles in store if I can just exercise my faith just a little bit more. 

I love you all to the moon and back and please let me know if there´s anything I can do for y’all!

Series of Sad Yet Fortunate Events -- From Dad

Dearest Lex-

I write you this letter as I sit on the plane ride home from dropping you off at the MTC.  I was planning on writing you a letter and then handing it to you as we said goodbye but thought better of it.  The father's blessing would let you know how I felt, how your Mom felt, and how the Lord felt.

So while I am not a fan of the MTC "curb drop", I was so impressed with how you left me.  We cried, embraced really hard, said we loved each other, and then you let go, looked at the curbside Elder and said with a teary smile, “Let's go get this started!”  That enthusiasm, faith, and desire to work hard and try new things will serve you well!  In that moment, my testimony was strengthened and it was once again reaffirmed how much of an instrument in the hands of the Lord you would be.

Anyways, I thought you would find the following series of events, or my story, to be rather comical.  I talked to Mom most of the way to the airport which really helped me to be able to fight back the tears and improve the visibility (even though it was snowing really hard the closer I got to Salt Lake).  I so love your Mother.  She is the greatest blessing of my life.  You are so lucky to have her as a Mom.

Ok, back to the story .... As I drove to the airport, I wondered what you were doing and even thought about texting you.  Ooops, that won't work anymore -- Insert Rachel calling me an idiot right here.  So here is where it gets comical (movie type stuff – think Fools Rush In - even though each instance made me cry).  We'll call it, “Dad's Series Of Sad Yet Fortunate Events”.

Event #1 - As I pulled into the rental car return I was gathering all the stuff and I stumbled across your phone.  Rachel had sent you a text (which I don't think you saw) after you two talked.  I read it and was sad, yet happy that you two have such a great relationship.  She said, “I love you tons and I’ll miss you like crazy, but you’re gonna do so good!  I know it!  Have faith and work hard and you’ll do great things.  Go out there and change the world!  I’ll see you soon buddy.  18 months will fly by!”  So here I go crying while the lady comes up to check my car in. 

Event #2 - I walk into the terminal to get my ticket and here comes about 25 family members with balloons and Welcome Home signs, surrounding their missionary that has just returned.  (Insert more tears here).  Yet I smile as I think of the amazing stories you will have to tell and the growth you will have experienced when that is our moment at DFW airport in 2015.

Event #3 - I am hungry so I decide to walk down to Terminal 2 to the food court.  Was thinking about Pei Wei, but again...memories of Lex, which at this point I am trying to avoid so I can look like a normal human being instead of a grown man crying in an airport.  As I make my way to Terminal 2 food court I look up and see a Cafe Rio.  Darn it.  More tears.  Yet happy thoughts of the afternoon and night before your mission spent with some amazing roommates and family that loves you.  So grateful for Emma and Tamsyn who I am sure will be life-long friends in the gospel.  More pieces that Heavenly Father placed in your path for support and strength.  Yet another blessing.  So where did I end up eating?... Pei Wei.

Event #4 - As I board the plane I feel alone.  I take my seat next to a stranger who is on the aisle and have an empty seat between us.  Normally I would rejoice in this development, but the empty seat represents one huge person in my life that is missing.  The plane begins to taxi to the runway when I hear a blaring alarm.  I look around to see which idiot has their phone alarm going off.  Further why are they just sitting there letting it ring?  I think for a moment and then the horror hits me.  It is your phone.  It is time for your 6pm medicine.  Imagine my horror as I dig through my carry-on bag to find the phone with a birth control pill alarm ringing.  The message I take from this sign is that you are always here in our hearts, minds and prayers.  You are with us in spirit reminding us how we should be.  Those mental alarms will go off as I get a little crazy and your words of telling me not to be dumb will echo in my mind.  I will strive to be nicer, more loving, and more patient.

So I am sure “Dad's Series Of Sad Yet Fortunate Events” will continue over the next 18 months.  I miss you dearly but know that your mission will make not only you, but every one of us in our family stronger.  I am so excited to go on this adventure with you through your letters and emails.  I miss you dearly and my heart aches.  Tears flow as I write this (again sitting on an airplane like an idiot).  But those tears represent a love for family that I am not ashamed of.  I LOVE our family.

Alright, I am going to stop writing and turn on a movie where people are blowing stuff up.  Pull out my man card and fly home to your Mom, who I love more than anything.  I'll squeeze the family for you and tell them again how much you love them.  I'll explain to Megan about the necklace and the message you wanted her to hear.

Go forth and serve!

Love you muchie muchie! Bunches and bunches! Tons and tons! Oodles and zoodles!

 Dad

My Dad

My Dad is the sweetest man you'll ever meet in your life!  I have him to thank for my OCD thinking and easy frustration, but he is also the reason I love family.  I honestly want to marry someone just like him.  We joke that he is the baby of the family, but that soft heart has been perfect for me growing up!  I love having a dad who is so loving and open.  We party hard at Harkins and I can always count on him to hook us up with the latest gadgets.  He is a great teacher and I cannot wait to bring him his grandkids.  I promise to try and get them into Lincoln Logs!  I love you!!