Mexico Week 59 -- With Him, All Things Are Possible

Dear sweet family...I have pretty much no time today!! 

Hermano Lopez was transferred and Hermana Villa is my new companion!  I’m still anxiously awaiting her arrival! She also got here the same time as Hermana Gonzalez and Hermana Lopez! Ha! Ha! I will be companions will all of the Hermanas from their generation! 

This morning began at 2 a.m. so that we could be at the bus station by 4:30am for Hermana Lopez’s bus. Then the sister training leaders, Hermana Guevarra and I headed to their house to sleep a little more, study and start P-Day.  We are all walking zombies! So as we leave the house at 3:30am this morning, Hermana Lopez tells me, no worries, there’s always a taxi here.  Um, except this early in the morning!  We found nothing.  We are walking the streets at 3:30 in the morning looking for a taxi and after about 30 minutes, we finally found one!!  Goodness, the adventures of the mission!

I am excited for my new companion and know that the Lord always has a plan.  I’m learning to trust Him more and more. I know that the Lord needs Hermana Villa and I here in Jardines for some great reasons! 

So I won’t have time to you all my stories until next week, but I just want y’all to know that I’m happy. Sometimes I struggle.  Sometimes I doubt.  But overall, I am happy and learning and growing so much. On Monday I was pondering a lot about some letters I had received and also our President’s weekly message to us as missionaries. I felt the Spirit so strongly and I know that I need to change. I started to talk with more and more people in the street.  We started to look for more new investigators.  I was constantly praying.  The minute a negative thought entered my mind, I started praying. As I read again this morning the talk about consecrated missionaries, I felt inspired and know that the Lord has a plan. I have to be patient and diligent and just keep working until we start seeing results. 

On Saturday we had a rougher day!  We had been giving it everything we had, but just not finding people at home.  We arrived home exhausted!  I showered to just shake it off. I had a good cry and I remember thinking, I can’t do this ... not with my own weaknesses, and with how small the ward is, and my companion .. these things are combining for such a slow progress of the work, I just can’t.  I went to sleep listening to “I Know that my Redeemer Lives” and it was the first thing I played Sunday morning when I woke up.  During church, I felt the Spirit so strongly and as I took the sacrament.  I felt so much peace.

I don´t tell y’all this story so that you worry or anything like that.  I want to share it because sometimes we all think we can’t.  My mom jokes that being a follower of the Savior is hard work, and it is so true.  It is hard and it requires sacrifice on our part.  We all have those moments when things don’t seem to be going the way we want them to, or moving fast enough in the direction we want them to move.  We might even have a good cry in the shower and feel like giving up, like we can’t do it anymore.  It’s not true.  With the Savior, we can. I know it! I feel it even when sometimes I forget. I love this gospel and the peace it brings.  He knows the path and He will guide us along, if we just trust Him.

I hope that y’all have a great week!  Love you! 

Mexico Week 54 -- Life in Jardines

Well I am in Uruapan, Michoacan!  My area is called Jardines 1!  It was a five hour bus ride to arrive here and it is so pretty!  It is very sunny here! Ha!  Ha!  Almost no clouds and lots of hills! Or in other words, I will be brown and buff and thin leaving here!  I have been getting home so tired at night for booking it up and down the hills! Please enjoy my sunburned pic!

My companion is Hermana Lopez. She is from Oaxaca and is an only child. She just finished her training.  We are working well together and getting to know each other more. However, I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss Hermana Gonzalez just a little bit … or a lot a bit!!

This week I’ve been getting settled in. I’m not very good at changes, and sometimes you just miss people, but I have been working hard and getting to know everyone here. I realized this week just how much I love meeting people. I saw so many members open up and my companion told me that they were members that didn’t really like them too much beforehand. We have a lot of work to do here gaining the confidence of the members! I just feel a strong desire to serve and strengthen the families here. My mission has taught me so much about how much the members too need to be strengthened.  We have a lot of work to do! 

Happy Birthday Mom! 46 years old! Just a little bit closer to 50.  Sorry I didn’t tell you last week, but I promise I remembered the actual day of your birthday! 

Today we had a zone activity! We played charades, fill in the blank from Preach my Gospel, a little basketball, a little soccer, and of course catapulting water balloons.  It was a lot of fun and Hermana Quisbert is in my zone!  She goes home at the end of this transfer ... crazy stuff, right?  It has been so fun seeing her again! 

Church on Sunday was awesome! It’s a tiny ward and about 70 or 80 people attending every week. This week one of our investigators Marisela, went to church! She has twins, Ricardo and Delia. They’re 6 years old and she is just stressed out. We see her pretty frustrated but trying to find answers. We taught her about keeping the Sabbath Day Holy on Saturday and we felt the spirit so strongly as we talked about the sacrament. She says, “I need to go¨ and there she was on Sunday and she stayed the 3 hours and loved it! We are hoping to see her progress a lot. Oh and Ricky was REALLY hungry after three hours of church and had a little bit of bad attitude for the picture!  Ha! Ha!

The other family that went to church is the Espino family. The parents are recent converts from December I think, but the dad doesn’t want to go anymore and the kids never wanted to get baptized. I’m kind of doubting they were prepared before being baptized, but they are also so special. We have a lot of work to do in this house! Their teenagers are kind of nervous and shy and giggle a lot, but on Saturday we also taught about keeping the Sabbath Day Holy and we felt the Spirit a ton. The oldest likes going to church and was convincing her younger sister who was scared they would ask her questions and she wouldn’t know the answer. The mom with her three daughters arrives at church and everyone went to their own classes happy! Their youngest is Paola and she is just precious. She almost always says the opening and closing prayer just because she likes too. She loves the church and I think she encourages her whole family! 

There are so many great people here, but I have to tell y’all about Mike. I still haven’t taught him, but this week was incredible. Since Monday we were looking for him … calling, going to his house, everything, and nothing. On Friday we finally found him. He comes outside, in front of his house, and I introduce myself and we start asking how he is and he starts explaining, and then says, “I just can’t express myself in Spanish” and starts speaking in perfect English. He tells us that he is in a deep depression, like it’s just darkness and there’s no light.  He feels like he’s falling and falling and wants to take somebody’s hand but there’s no one there. He says he’s a black sheep that has wandered away from the shepherd but he wants to find Him again. He’s doubting that God loves Him. He’s crying through all of this and don’t forget he is speaking in English!  He says, ”I’m sorry!  I barely know you, and I’m crying so much.  But, I just feel you care, like I don’t know, I just feel like you really care about me.”  This is where I start crying too. I started testifying of our Heavenly Father’s love. He says, “I want to change my life now, not tomorrow, not next week, now. I know I just need to open the book, it’s all there if I just open the Book of Mormon. On Saturday we stopped by to give him a list of uplifting scriptures but only his wife was home. My companion had told me that she didn’t want to listen, but we started chatting with her. She too opened up that her mom died two months ago and it was just hard, that her whole marriage has been hard. She agreed to listen to us with her husband on Tuesday and we are incredibly excited. We see the true possibility of them progressing as a family!

I am happy to be here ... sad and a little nervous as I realize how fast my mission is passing by, but happy. I’m not perfect and I mess up everyday, it is so hard for me to accept the Savior’s Atonement sometimes, but I love Him and our Father in Heaven, and this gospel. I know that I cannot be happy without living it. I can’t be happy without being obedient. I want so badly to make our Father in Heaven proud. I want to live with Him again. I want to realize how short and important our earthly life is. I just want to be righteous, I just want to give the best of me and help everyone here to feel the Savior’s love. I want to represent Him well. I love you all too much and hope that you’re happy! 

Mexico Week 14 -- When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going

Oh my dear sweet family -- This week was a good one but a little bit harder! 

So I was just feeling pretty inadequate in all honesty! I don’t know, just pretty stressed and wanting to do a million things at one time and worrying about what I’m teaching Hermana Buttars, then I lost my ATM card, then I realized that I left the card for my camera at the internet café last week, and yeah, when it rains, it pours. Then good ole Mom sent me the talk from Jeffrey R. Holland about missionaries and the Atonement. What a good read! In all honesty, I just felt super close to the Savior when I read it. I’m pretty crazy if I ever expect anything in this life to be easy. I just felt like okay, yeah, I can do this. I know that my Savior is by my side, that this is His work, and that if I just open up a little bit and let Him in, then He’ll take care of me. This week, I really loved the song ¨Who You Are¨ by Hillary Weeks. I am not a mom or anything but I feel like I’m running around all day and at the end of it all feel like I haven’t accomplished anything, but I have faith in what I’m doing, and I know that sometimes we can’t see the fruits of the little seeds we plant. Big mama’s got this! 

So we moved! We finally live in our area but it’s an area I really don’t know very well.  So let’s just say we had some pretty interesting experiences with buses this week! Whoa! Ha! Ha! We just moved our suitcases and then went to work. Later, the elders brought over the beds and fans and kitchen stuff and everything. We got home that night to a house of boxes! You should have seen the two of us at midnight trying to put together a bunk bed. Honestly, it was fun! 

Okay now for some cool experiences this week. So one day, I felt like we went to a million houses and nobody was home. I have the idea to visit Rosa Elia. So we go that way and her daughter tells us she’s asleep. I’m thinking...NOOOO! Her daughter is less active too but in all honesty, she’s not usually very nice to us. She invited us in, offered us water, was being super nice and I’m thinking ¨Who is this person¨! I ask her if we can share a message and she says sure!  At this point my brain is practically exploding. Hermana Valdez and I asked probably a dozen times and she always said no. We started singing and talking about the gospel. She told us that she knows it is all true and that the gospel is perfect. She just had a few people say things to her and she’s struggling to go back to church. She told us about how she almost entered the temple and everything. She wants her kids to go to church with their grandma. My whole brain was exploding but it’s because I think our Heavenly Father always has a plan. 

Yesterday, I felt like we should visit Rosa Elia. We passed by and there was a huge party going on! It was Nicole and Ashley’s birthday party. The two of them had huge princess dresses and everything. We had cake and sang this wild Mexican birthday song and they gave us princess party favors. We ate a little bit of food and then went to Rosa Elia’s room to share a message. She just told us a ton of things and then started crying. She told us how alone she felt, how more trials just keep coming, how she just didn’t know what to do, and how maybe Christ wasn’t helping her because she was a sinner. She broke my heart, but at the same time, it’s the most amazing experience to have someone open her heart like that to you. How can you not just be filled with love? The words just fell out of my mouth and I know it was by the Spirit. The people in that house have a million and ten problems but they are incredibly special to me. 

I’m going to catch you all up on Antonio. So Esther had to go to the hospital this week. Antonio was pretty fired up and a little ugly to us at the beginning of the week. The stress just gets to him and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be where he is. Hermana Claudia told us when Esther got home and we went to sing to her. We sang and shared testimony and some scriptures and just felt the strongest peace. I’m thinking this is why we needed to come by. We get ready to leave and Antonio comes home. He’s sitting in a chair outside by himself and I ask him how he is. He says, ¨Mal, muy mal.¨ He just started talking about how hard it all is and then the water works start. I ask him if we can share a short message and he tells us that the next day would be better. I’ve never seen him more down and well, we just weren’t leaving. I ask him if we can say a prayer and sing some hymns. He tells me sure! We starting singing hymns and sharing testimony and it just felt really right. He is a tough, tough man, but I know that if he’ll just open his heart, he’ll feel it. On Fridays, we do service for two hours and we offered to clean his house! Claudia is taking care of Esther all day and his daughters come every day, but they just don’t clean. 

This is the part where Hermana Buttars and Hermana Rawe become Ammon from the Book of Mormon serving King Lamoni. It was so fun cleaning his house! Not to mention it was a hot mess. You should have seen him practically skipping around, cracking jokes .. He was a hoot!  I know that it’s the little seeds we’re planting.  I know that we have faith to help him change and eventually he will.  I just love him a ton and even though sometimes he really is a grumpy old fart, I know that he’ll open his heart one day and understand. 

Well I love y’all a ton! 

Words of Wisdom -- From My Mom

One of my favorite prophets is President Hinckley.  He is one of the most optimistic people I have ever seen, and his sweet wife was just as amazing!  Everyone has worries or concerns on a daily basis, and some people even give themselves a little pep talk in the mirror every morning.  Think about that .. what do you think President Hinckley said to himself every day?  He gave us a little hint when he said:

"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is.  It all works out.  Don't worry.  I say that to myself every morning.  It will all work out.  If you do your best, it will all work out.  Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future."

Isn't that amazing?  Someone like President Hinckley reminded himself every day that things will work out if you do your best.  Foreign languages are perfected .. School and degrees are completed .. Right marriage partners appear ..  Callings are fulfilled ..  everything works out if your do your best and trust the Lord.

John Bytheway told an analogy once using a football game.  In today's world we often record games or races to watch at a later point in time.  Inevitably, someone or our phone lets it slip who won.  So we are left to watch the game already knowing the final score.  Some of these games can be real exciting when you don't know how it will turn out, but there is much to be learned even when you know the final result.  Bytheway found an old football game from 2002 and started watching it.  At halftime, his team was down by 27 points.  Every time the other team scored, he laughed and laughed because he knew that his team would win the game .. and they did .. the final score was 35 to 34.  Now you most likely won't laugh if Carlos doesn't respond to the lessons, or if Saira doesn't get baptized this year.  There are going to be days and even moments during the days on your mission where you are down and maybe even getting "creamed" by investigators who aren't progressing, or members who are less than helpful, or strangers who are not so nice.  You are in the middle of a tough fight, but it will okay.  The Savior has already won the game.  You know the final score.  You wear the Lord's jersey .. so get you get off the bench every day and you fight.  You fight the good fight because you know these things to be true:

**If God be for us, who can be against us? -- Romans 8:31

.

**Be still, and know that I am God. -- Psalms 46:10

**There is hope smiling brightly before us!

Keep that focus on the Savior and your heart will be filled with peace .. peace regarding the language .. peace regarding your investigators .. peace for the future.

Love you sugar!

Mom

Words of Wisdom -- From My Uncle

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Viktor Frankl was held in a concentration camp for over three years.  During that time, his wife, mother and brother died.  That adds a lot of perspective to a quote about choosing your attitude in any given set of circumstances.

I love you being on a mission.  I think about when I was a missionary all the time.  When I first got to the mission my trainer had been out 6 weeks.  This was basically one transfer!  When new missionaries came in the next transfer, we became trainers.  It sounds crazy ... and it was crazy.  My mission president was very new, but he quickly realized a very important thing.  The missionaries who had been out over 9 months had developed a culture, and it was not a positive one.  They had become conditioned by the missionaries before them … and the ones before them … and the ones before them.  Rules had become optional.  Picking and choosing who to teach and who to visit was based upon personal opinions, and not the Spirit.  So my mission president moved the majority of these missionaries five hours north.  Only the exceptional missionaries were allowed to stay in the city.  The new missionaries were paired up with new missionaries and they influenced and supported each other in learning how to follow the Spirit.  They no longer had the influence of someone telling them what couldn’t be done.   The younger missionaries prayed with faith, demonstrated hope and exercised their faith.

The mission President did this for over six months … and amazing things started happening.  We went from teaching very little and few baptisms to a total explosion.  It was unheard of in this city.  The members started to change their opinions and dinner appointments kicked back in.  People were being baptized in every zone.  Most importantly the missionaries BELIEVED!  They believed in the work. They believed in the people and they believed they were called to SERVE and TEACH!

A common term for a new missionary is green or greenie.  Buddy I have some advice … STAY GREEN!  Stay green your entire mission.  I mean it.  I think Nephi is a great example of someone who was green.  He was young and inexperienced.  All he knew was that the Lord commanded him to do certain things, and the Lord would provide a way.  Under his leadership, his family left Jerusalem, got the plates, returned for wives, built a ship and traveled across the ocean.  None of which his older brothers thought was possible.  The biggest difference is that Nephi had faith, perspective, a good attitude, and he didn’t let others change his mind.  STAY GREEN.

Lehi shared his vision of the tree of life with his family.  Nephi went away and spent time thinking and praying and asking the Lord if it was true.  He was blessed with amazing experiences because of showing initiative and taking responsibility for his own testimony and faith.  His brothers complained, wined, and frankly didn’t try to learn if it was true or what the Lord would have them do.  When Nephi asked if they have prayed or spent time asking God about it, instead of depending on what they did or didn’t understand, they became angry and annoyed.  Nephi never let this deter him.  He knew what the Lord had asked of him and he was always willing to follow the promptings and do the right thing. 

I know you said others have doubted your feelings for Carlos.  You will meet a lot of Carlos’ on your mission and throughout your life.  Stay Green – Be Like Nephi -- and continue on the path the Lord has outlined for you.  Never lose that hope and faith in others.  Your Heavenly Father will bless you with amazing experiences.  I promise you this.  I feel the Spirit so strong when I write this.  You CAN have an amazing mission.  You never really know all of the things that can come from your actions and belief in others.  Be confident in knowing that the Lord can see the big picture.  There are times He will prompt you to help him with a piece or two of the puzzle.  You place those pieces and He will take care of the rest.  Be like Nephi.

Think back on your opportunities to teach Primary.  Being green is a lot like becoming childlike.  Not in the sense of being immature, but in the sense of being open to the Spirit and not requiring proof but moving forward on faith.  Kids rarely give up hope.  They wake up every day and love you and their friends and the world around them.  They don’t remember what frustrated them the day before.  Every single day is filled with the hope that it will be the BEST DAY EVER.  That hope and faith is what allows them to love so openly and freely.

I know how much you love a good animated movie.  Dreamworks put out a movie a few years ago called “The Prince of Egypt” and it told the story of Moses from his birth to receiving the 10 Commandments.   During most of the movie, the Israelites are slaves to the Egyptians.  They have prayed for years to be freed; and the lack of a perceived response from the Lord has caused them to question their own faith.  How can they continue on when the prayers have remained unanswered for so many years?  After they are freed by Moses and are seen marching towards the Red Sea, there is a song that starts to play …

Many nights we've prayed, with no proof anyone could hear.
In our hearts a hopeful song we barely understood.

Now we are not afraid, although we know there's much to fear.
We were moving mountains long before we knew we could.

There can be miracles when you believe.
Though hope is frail; It’s hard to kill.
Who knows what miracles you can achieve, when you believe.
Somehow you will, you will when you believe.

In this time of fear, when prayer so often proved in vain.
Hope seemed like the summer birds, too swiftly flown away.
Yet now I'm standing here, with heart so full I can't explain.
Seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'd say.

There can be miracles when you believe.
Though hope is frail; It’s hard to kill.
Who knows what miracles you can achieve, when you believe.
Somehow you will, you will when you believe.

One of my favorite lines in this song is “we were moving mountains long before we knew we could” – They did not know they could or even recognize the Lord’s hand in their lives, but He knew.  He knew what they were capable of and He guided them every step of the way.   The miracles came in the Lord’s way and in the Lord’s own time.

I got home from my mission in 2002, so that is 12 years ago.  Here is what is so great about the lessons you learn as a missionary.  Even though I haven’t been a missionary for a long time, these lessons continue to teach me today.  Right now I serve with the Young Men.  There are plenty of people who have been YM Leaders for a lot longer than I have.  They may have lost hope in some of these young men.  Some leaders may say it’s a waste of time to do this or that.  Those who have done this calling before me have their own ideas about how things should be done in this ward.  There can be a fine line between listening to more experienced people and ignoring your feelings and promptings.  I know I was called here for a reason.  I know I am being prompted to do certain things and I know that if I listen to the Lord, great things will happen.  Each of us struggle with this very basic concept … To see people the way God sees them.  To not be influenced by the world says or thinks is cool.  To take immediate action when the Lord asks us to do something.  To believe in ourselves and our ability to receive inspiration.  To truly know that we can make a difference in the lives of others.  I know that if we put our trust in the Lord, strive daily to have hope in those around us, and seek to see others as God does … amazing things will be put in our path.  There can and will be miracles if we believe!