Mexico Week 66 -- Lord, I Would Follow Thee

Dear sweet family!

I love y’all too much and I keep thanking my Heavenly Father every day for the family that I have!  Can you believe it is already June? 

Let’s get these pictures explained.

The pictures with my companion are in one of my favorite parts of my area! It’s so pretty and open and I just love it! 

This week I went on splits with Hermana Peña and this time we went to her area. There are some CRAZY hills there! Ha! Ha!  It is awesome!!  We really had a good time with some incredibly spiritual lessons. We were crying and working with amazing people and just really good splits. She is an awesome missionary and we made pancakes. She is my new best friend from El Salvador! 

Today we had our Zone activity and played Preach My Gospel Jeopardy!  Ha! Ha!  We’re a little competitive but it was so fun. 

We also visited Hermana Claudia and Naty and we made empanadas! A Columbian speciality!  They were so good and we had a good time. 

 I’m a little sad about Elder L. Tom Perry. We received the message first that he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and that Elder Scott was still in the hospital.  Then the next message came through that Elder Perry died. It feels weird right? Like a member of the family died.  I love them so much. 

This week we visited Hermana Caracosa (her son died on Mother’s Day) and she is really struggling.  She feels like her relationship with God has been destroyed and little by little she’s trying to reconstruct it.  It is so hard when such bad things happen.  You really do feel like your relationship with God has fallen apart.  We talked about prayer and felt the Spirit so strongly, I love her so much and I love being able to focus on just living lifting others. It feels amazing and I just love it. I love loving people. 

We also have been working with Hermana Claudia and Naty. They are progressing so much and went to the ward activity this week and showed up at church by themselves!  We showed up at her house one day this week and she was watching conference videos and taking notes!  We are just working on helping her receive an answer to her prayers. We’re going to really focus on the Book of Mormon and they really do seem like members!  I was thinking about the Book of Mormon and how it really was written for our day.  It talks about materialism and avoiding pride and contention, being humble, being dedicated to the Lord, the importance of family.  We need a strong and firm testimony of the Book of Mormon.  We have to live it and study it personally and as a family. It’s one of the greatest tools we have to protect us and strengthen us.  I have found incredible strength in the words of Book of Mormon prophets and I know the book is true. I know it testifies of Christ and I know my testimony and understanding of the Atonement have increased by reading daily.  We all have to read!! 

We’ve been finding some new people to teach too and we’re working really hard!  I have been learning some hard lessons this week.  My companion and I went to church and it was all good, but since Saturday my companion has been pretty stressed and well mad.  She has said a few things that I don’t think she really means. She kinds of runs way in front of me and pulls her own hair and says we’re just wasting the Lord’s time, nothing good is happening here, etc.  I’ve never experienced anything like it and I’ve never had somebody so angry with me … Not even when we were younger and Mom made the face.  I felt so completely lost and confused, but I’m trying to not let it make me lose my enthusiasm or love for this work.  Being a missionary isn’t just about how many people you can baptize.  It is about helping people, bringing them hope, helping them to feel the love of the Savior, teaching them that living the gospel will bring them happiness and peace.  I’ve just been focusing on feeling the Spirit and not taking what she says to heart.

We left our lunch appointment and she was mad, and so she started saying some angry things and I knew she wanted to fight with someone.  I just tried to sing hymns and tell myself that she was stressed for other things and stuff like that and it was okay. I started talking to people in the street too because that also makes me feel good.  I just didn’t say anything and prayed she would feel the Spirit and calm down.  Well, she said something a little bit stronger and the enthusiasm slipped and the discouragement entered. I started getting watery eyed and started praying out loud in a whisper, “Heavenly Father, I don’t want to fight.  I don’t want to get mad.  I don’t want to get offended.  I don’t want to fight.  Please help me!  Help me to feel love.”   

Immediately, I felt like we should go visit Hermana Castillo. Last time we saw her, she was so sad and stressed out.  I had studied for about a week to find a message that would help her.  I kept thinking about the Lord’s grace.  We went to their house, and her son asked me if I was okay, “Your smile is the same, but your eyes look kind of sad.”  I told him it was all good! Ha!  Ha!  We started to share a message about grace. I felt the Spirit SO MUCH in that lesson. It was incredible. Hermana Castillo started crying and told us that she truly felt like now she understands grace. She started crying more and saying that we are never alone that we can always feel the Lord’s love if we look for it.  I shared my testimony too and I just felt it so strongly inside of me. I know the Lord lives and I know that I am doing things that never would have been possible without the Lord’s help. I could never keep my mouth shut and not fight back.  I could never put off frustration.  I could never forgive and forget so easily if it wasn’t for the Lord and his love.  I know that He is giving me the strength that alone I don’t have.  I thought of the hymn, Lord I Would Follow Thee ... “Pause to help and lift another, finding strength beyond my own. In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can’t see.  To the wounded and the weary, I would show a gentle heart. Savior, may I learn to love thee. Lord, I would follow thee.”

It is so true!  As I shared all of these feelings with her, she kind of looked at me and said, “You know how you can really tell the difference between missionaries that are committed and really converted to this and the ones that just kind of follow the routine?  The committed ones give their whole heart and they study for you and they find what you need and they share it with you.  They are like part of the family.”  I know that she was an answer to my prayer because in that moment I felt the Lord’s love so strongly and He gave me the strength to finish the day. I love Him so much and I love my companion and I know that it’ll all be okay. 

The lesson for me … What an incredible gift I was given to grow up feeling loved my entire life.  I mean really loved for who I am.  Those feelings of love and acceptance just ripple into other feelings of self-worth and confidence.  We all have crazy strong personalities, but we learned to work stuff out, without yelling most of the time and until everyone was okay.  We were taught to look for the positive in every situation.  I came on my mission grateful for my family, but when I come across people who have been treated bad their whole life, I am even more grateful.  I am learning how being a missionary helps prepare you for marriage.  Two people come together from different backgrounds, different family personalities, different ways of doing things, different ways of communicating .. and if you love each other, you continue to work on your relationship.  You work through the differences.  One person isn't right and one person isn't wrong .. it is just different, and you have to work to find the common ground.

Last night I told my companion I loved her and that she is an incredible missionary and we went to bed.  I laid there for a little bit thinking and I remembered a talk that Elder Holland gave a few years ago called, “Like a Broken Vessel” and I couldn’t get the thought out of my head.  This morning I read the talk and then I started crying during my studies because it was seriously perfect.

Elder Holland says, “So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love?” 

**Never lose faith in your Father in Heaven who loves you more than you can comprehend. Never ever doubt that and never harden your heart. 

**Faithfully pursue the time tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. 

**Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. (I think that’s why I’m so addicted to hymns and conference talks lately!). 

**Ask for cherished priesthood blessings. 

**Take the sacrament every week and hold fast to the perfecting promise of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

**Believe in miracles. 

**If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education. 

**For caregivers in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. 

**Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide you can offer your prayers and you can give love unfeigned. 

I know that He was talking to me.  In some ways, we are all broken.  Maybe we are broken in a certain area, or maybe we are broken during a difficult time in our life.  We all struggle with things and it is our job to lift and love each other during those periods of brokenness.  I know that my companion suffers from many things and she needs my love.  She needs me to just love, love, love her and pray for her, and then love her some more until she starts to believe it herself.  I know that I need to be careful and take care of myself too. I love Elder Holland. I know that He is a servant of the Lord and I know that the Lord is with me. I feel Him. I feel His love and he is helping me to learn how to love all different kinds of people. 

I can’t wait to see y’all soon and I hope that you’re all happy!  Love you!

Mexico Week 51 -- Families

My Dear Family … I hope you’re all doing great! 

Picture time! 

This is Hermana Karla.  We love her to pieces. She went with us to visit some people last night and well we had a hard time finding people at home, so we taught her how to talk with people in the street. She got so excited and we were showing her the cards and she asks if she can keep them to talk with people on the bus when she goes to work! She always gives us references and has the strongest desire to share the gospel. She also gave a talk yesterday and shared her testimony about her experience with the missionaries and how she felt working with us and how true this gospel is and wow, we have seen her progress so much. We love her! 

This is Hermana Elsa and her brother Carlos, or Carlitos. We just keep loving on them and love watching them grow! Lately Hermana Elsa always asks me to say the prayer. The other day I told, “Hey what’s up?  You pick me every time we come!” I was totally playing with her and she gets kind of serious and says, “It’s because you know us. You know exactly what we need. You just know us and I need to pray to our Heavenly Father for all of our needs.” It was such a sweet moment of the week. I felt the Spirit so strongly and realized just how much we represent Jesus Christ for all of the people we teach. This week with Hermana Elsa and Hermano Jose we decided to study certain chapters of the Book of Mormon to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They are both so busy and haven’t been reading as much. As we studied Ether 12 and Alma 34 this week they felt they Spirit so much and Hermano Jose says, “Wait a second, let me go for a pen because I want to mark this.”  We need the scriptures, we need them every day to pick us up in the rougher moments. We can’t slack on our reading, especially as a family! 

This is Rocio! Our future missionary! She’s leaving in about a month and is super excited! 

We ate with the cute counselor in the Primary Presidency this Valentine’s Day and she gave us these cute frogs! Isn’t she adorable? Happy Valentine’s Day to the sister missionaries!   They went to the temple last week for the first time in about a year and half.  They have three young kids, and two of them are 18-month old twins.  We’ve been inviting them to go for about 4 months.  As we ate, they talked about all of the blessings they’ve received and how excited they were and we invited them to work on having their Family Home Evenings too. As we were leaving, she gives us a big hug and says, “You two have truly helped our family. I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. You help us to remember to do the things we know will help us, but we just forget after being members for so long. Thank you so much for blessing our family.”  What a neat experience, right? We are trying so hard to keep supporting and uplifting the members here! 

There was a double baptism this weekend! The Elders baptized a young man who had to pass a lot of interviews to be able to be baptized. He’s been with the elders for six months and so constant and enduring and all that good stuff and he finally got to be baptized this week! A young boy was also baptized! Love when the ward comes together to support! 

 This week we ate tostadas with avocados like every day!  You put sour cream, avocados, and salt.  Seriously, it is heaven!! 

This is one of the piñatas that one of our investigators made! We try to help her out when we can.

 It was COLD again this week with a little rain! Ah! Crazy Guadalajara!  It is a lot like Texas!  Cannot make up its mind on the weather!

Today we ate in La Casa del Waffles!  That’s when you know you’re in a tourist zone! Ha! Ha!  We did not care because they were delicious! 

A funny story for y’all … So on Tuesday the supplies we were missing in our house arrived with our zone leaders.  Oh goodness!  Turns out they sent us a HUGE folding table. The elders in our district received fans, bookshelves, and the six of us were thinking uhhhhh, how on earth are we going to get this home.  We decide on a bus.  We load everything on and everybody that gets on the bus gives us weird looks.  We arrive in Tlaquepaque and there goes Hermana Gonzalez and I … walking down the street … with our folding table and electric stove! 

This week Hermano Oscar and Hermana Karen went to the ward FHE. They told me that their oldest daughter was baptized last week! How awesome is that! They were using my scriptures in a scriptures hunt game and then afterward Hermana Karen was reading scriptures I had written and notes I had made in the margin. We served ice cream to everyone that came and she comes and tells me, “I found an answer to lots and lots of prayers. I have been not wanting to do something that my Heavenly Father wants me to do and I read your note here about how sometimes we fight against his will and that’s what I’m doing, but I need to be humble and do what He wants. Any chance you want to give me your scriptures?” They recently called her to be the Relief Society Secretary and I love seeing them progress. They are too special! Every time before we leave they say “Nos vemos in December right?” I tell them, RIGHT! 

Now for our special family, the Moreno-Garcia family … Last week we had trouble finding them and weren’t seeing a lot of progress.  A family tried to pick them up for church last week but they didn’t want to go.  On Monday we were thinking that maybe it wasn’t their time to progress.  We show up on Monday and tell her that we love her so much but that if she’s not going to keep her commitments that we can’t keep visiting them.  She talked about how different she felt when we were in her home and as we were leaving she follows us all the way out to the street and gives us the biggest hug.  Later in the week we taught about the Atonement to her whole family and her husband also wants to change.  We saw them Saturday morning and they were all excited to go to church and we planned at what time we would pass by for them in the morning and everything.  We taught the Hermana about the Sabbath Day and the consequences. Her biggest desire is to have peace in her home.  Satan is truly attacking so many homes and we started to feel kind of heavy this week.  There is so much yelling, name-calling, lack of respect, and just lots of ugly stuff.  We can’t let that into our homes!  They are such a special and humble family and we love them lots.  It’s like teaching little kids and they went to church and loved it and now her husband is on board too!  Ahh!!  We love life! 

This week I was thinking a lot about and also studying the Atonement.  I read David Bednar’s talk that mom sent me a few weeks ago and some things really hit home.  I fall into the category of people that focus a lot on the redeeming power.  I mess up a lot and have to work really hard so that Jesus can forgive me.  I have to be tough and overcome weaknesses and mistakes and all that jazz, but so many times I rely on my own effort, diligence, and work when I have obviously limited abilities.  As I read about the enabling power of Christ’s Atonement I was reminded once again of how powerful it is and that it too exists.  These past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling like I’m not magnifying my calling one hundred percent, that I was making the same mistakes over and over again and not getting any better.  As I read this talk I was filled with the Spirit as I reminded myself that it’s Christ that helps me to overcome these weaknesses that gives me power to change through my faith and diligence.  He gives me the strength that I could never give myself.  The whole week when I started to feel negative, I thought about Him, how strong He is and how much He could lift me.  It was awesome!  I love the Savior and I am so grateful for this opportunity to get to know Him better than any other point in my life until now. 

Let us all be better disciples of Jesus Christ and help other to also become His true disciples. Love you all lots!