Mexico Week 47 -- Finding Joy in the Journey

How are y’all??!! Super happy I hope!

Today makes the start of another transfer! Hermana Gonzalez and I are going strong!  But really, I love her to pieces. I have been so blessed as her companion! She is a dork and super funny and we just have a good time even with the stress and ups and downs of missionary work. She is so strong and we work hard. Our district leader was training too and his companion finished his training today and was transferred. They both about cried saying goodbye and Hermana Gonzalez says, “Oh no!  I am about to cry! Oh no!  The day they change us I will cry so much!”  She is a doll and it has been so fun working with her.

Okay so the pictures! I am a terrible piano player but I don’t love how the simplified hymns sound, I like hearing all the cords so I started playing with the Children’s Hymnbook. I just really feel like it is something that I need to learn. I love the Spirit I feel when I play even if I play like a turtle and mess up a lot!  One day, right??

 It was stake conference this past weekend.  Our favorite grandpa told us the bus would take about 30 minutes but we arrived in about 10, so we had time to take some pictures!  Ha! Ha! 

Also, I dyed my hair this week. Sometimes when you feel a little sad, you do fun things like dye your hair. I have the best stylist! Ha! Ha! 

Please enjoy the Creysi Donas.  It made me laugh so hard! Get it, like Crazy? But you have to write it like Creysi so that in Spanish they pronounce it like that. 

This week we went to ward FHE! The elders planned it and it was so great!! We had plans to bring some families but pretty much all of the plans fell through. We got to the church feeling pretty bummed and the elders asked us to put music in the chapel. As we were sitting in the chapel and listened to some Paul Cardall piano hymns, Hermana Gonzalez says, “We’re going to hug and cry right?”  That’s exactly what happened. The elders set up an awesome activity where they blindfolded everyone and were leading them all around the church and through obstacles but they couldn’t talk. The objective was to make it to the chapel where there was light, they took off their blindfolds, and we read them a scriptures in Luke 22:32 that talks about once we’re strengthened, we go out and strengthen the rest, and then people left and helped others make it to the chapel. First of all because none of our people made it to the activity, we were a little bummed.  The stronger we felt the Spirit, the more we cried a bit.  One of the Elders jokes, “Well I think Hermana Rawe really enjoyed this activity.  What do you feel Hermana Rawe?!  Insert more tears. Ha! Ha!

In the middle of all this, our kids show up in the activity. The 10 year old says she wants to talk to me. She tells me, “I want to be a missionary like you and Hermana Gonzalez. You’re just good people and I’ve learned a lot from you both. I know I need to get baptized and learn lots more, but I want to be a missionary and teach people too!”  She gives me a huge hug and well then I cry some more. Hermano Oscar was there too, by himself because his family was sick, but he comes to visit us and says, “I know you!  You’re literally my sister.  What’s going on?”  Ha! Ha! Well we chatted a bit and he tells me that Heavenly Father called me to find and work with his most difficult kids and then says that he’ll be receiving the Melchizedek priesthood next week! How awesome is that?! He says, “Don’t you see?  We are just working and working and next is temple sealing! If you’re not there I will go to your house and pick you up and bring you here!”  It is so incredible to see people progress so much in the gospel. He is literally the big brother I always wanted! 

This week we had interviews with our mission president. We talked about how sometimes we just have to stop teaching people that are keeping their commitments and look for the people that are truly prepared by the Lord. This has always been so hard for me in the mission. I always feel like maybe I didn’t put my whole part in and that’s why they are not progressing.  I hate to stop teaching people. This week I realized that my time is really short. This could be my last transfer here. I just felt like there truly are prepared people here. As we were walking one day just looking for people to teach I felt the Spirit so strongly as the Lord told me, this is what I want. I need you in other houses.  I’ll show you where to go. My President mentioned how much faith it takes to look for chosen, prepared people. This hit home as I realized we have stopped teaching about everybody and we are looking for new people all day every day, and visiting some less active members and recent converts. We have the faith and we’re going to find them! 

Hermana Rubi called us one morning so excited!! Her husband received a sentence of one year 2 months in jail, but he is applying for libertad condicional (I forget what that’s called in English). Basically, he could be home really soon. She says that he has changed so much and wants to marry her and get baptized, and pay his tithing, and “be somebody” at church. He says, “I’m trying to get out because I want the “guerita” to teach me!”  The “guerita” or “white girl” is pretty much me!  Ha! Ha!  Rubi told him he better hurry up and pray a lot because Hermana Malacara already left and who knows how much time they’re going to give to Hermana Rawe! I would die if I got to teach him again and see him progress! Ahh! 

This week I was studying a lot in the January Liahona. There were so many things that I liked! First of all, the article about President Benson and his wife just melted my heart! I realized so much about what our Heavenly Father really wants for marriages and families. We, well I, need somebody that supports me in the gospel and I support him and we put the Lord first and overcome challenges and serve and just do good things! I read about how the Savior wants us to teach and his model for teaching. As missionaries this is so important, but it’s also incredibly important in Sunday School classes! We have to teach better and more like the Savior in our church meetings. Then because I’m a nerd, I read “Family Councils for Couples.” I thought about all of the family councils we had and I imagine, although I never imagined it before, that you, mom and dad, also had couple councils and tried to, with the help of the Lord, lead us and teach us toward good things. I just want, well need, a family that receives the Lord’s guidance and help. We can’t do it without Him. 

With it being January and everything, I started thinking a lot about my goals, but not just for this year, really for my life. It’s so important to me that we just joyfully live the gospel, that we share what we know, that we put the Lord first, that we are truly happy, that we are always honest and repent when it’s necessary. I just want to be so prepared to be able to raise and teach a family centered on the Lord and a mom and wife that truly represents the Lord in how I do pretty much everything.

This week I felt like the world was really heavy. Like we live in a world filled with problems, filled with people with truly big sins and little desire to make things right, in a world where people have lost the concept of what is a family. The gospel truths are not regularly taught and practiced. We saw a lot of things this week, a lot of truly sad things relating to the family. We want to help people be happy but we have to live the gospel to be happy! I promised myself this week to never be a selfish mom, to do everything in my power to put others before myself. 

Love you all to the moon and back! Be good! 

Mexico Week 38 -- The Happiest I Have Ever Been

To my favorite people in the whole world, 

I AM INCREDIBLY HAPPY!! 

Let me just tell you about this incredible week!! 

I would also like everyone to know that I used my coat two times this week!! I took the inner liner out, but the Utah coat was used! Ha! Ha!  Now it is hotter again.  Somebody would think I was back in Texas with these crazy temperatures bouncing around!

We also had exchanges this week with the Sister Training Leaders ... one day before the baptism. It was a little hard for the control freak to leave her area again!  Ha! Ha!  I worked with Hermana Cuazitl.  She finishes her mission in 3 weeks! At night we were listening to music and then a talk from Henry B. Eyring started. He talked about being in the room where they assign missionaries to their missions. He talked about seeing our faces flash upon the screen and just knowing where we needed to go. He used a phrase ¨the Lord knows your face¨ about 3 times and I felt the strongest spirit. I knew it was true. He truly does know and love us and He knows the desires of our hearts. He knows our potential and He knows exactly where He needs us. I completely believe that my mission call was inspired and I am exactly where the Lord needs me. Wow, the Spirit is great. 

Exchanges are key for we get up super early in the morning and have to travel and sometimes we travel with wet hair and no makeup, but we are official Subway travelers.  We even have the card! 

Now for the best part of the whole week!! Thursday Hermano Oscar had his baptismal interview and well I’m a Rawe and so I worry and I had to start telling Hermana Malacara about all of the Disneyland rides so that I was distracted and not wanting to throw up. Ha! Ha!  He passed with flying colors and comes out all red eyed and said it was a really special experience. He tells me ¨You’ll be there the day I get married in the temple¨!  Wow, I felt the strongest spirit and well, it’s just the truth! I’ll give up anything to be able to go! 

So, the day of the baptism arrives. We leave in the morning to go to work and we visited one of our investigators Anabel. We found her about a week and a half ago and she just needs lots of help. We asked her to say the closing prayer and it was the most sincere prayer I have ever heard in my life. She just kept saying ¨Heavenly Father help me, help me leave the drugs, help me be a better mom, help me find the truth, give me understanding¨ it was just wow...so sincere. Leaving there and thinking about the baptism I think we were a little tender hearted and then...I SEE THE CAT. I literally almost cried in the street. We went to the closest store (because they are on like every corner here) and bought some cat food. I just wanted to bathe him, but we left him with some food and we left broken hearted!!  Mom, you’ll be happy to know I DID NOT pick him up!

We got to the church for the baptism.  We had so many problems with the baptismal font and all of the hermanos were filling it up at about 7 o´clock with buckets and freezing cold water.  What an adventure! So many people went to the baptism. Two of Hermano Oscar’s siblings, his parents, two cousins, his wife, his three kids, and a ton of ward members! We had to start in the chapel because so many people were there. Hermana Elsa (his mom) and his uncle shared two talks.  They did great!  Then Hermana Malacara and I sang ¨Yo se que vive mi Señor¨ with a Paul Cardall arrangement that I had. We had like two weeks practicing and Friday my throat started hurting so much and I was coughing two days straight. I was so nervous and thinking ¨noooooo, it’s his favorite hymn and we have to sing it pretty!¨ I just started praying that we would be able to invite the spirit with the hymn. We started singing and what do you think?  No sore throat!! I was singing with my whole heart and trying not to cry because everyone I made eye contact with was crying, but ahh, it was just awesome. I love the Spirit, I love that hymn, and I love the Savior.

Afterward, Hermano Oscar was baptized. We all wrote him notes as he was changing and afterward his wife, and his hermano Jose shared their testimonies about how he had changed. They talked about seeing the kid and receiving a husband and brother again, both with tears in their eyes. Then Hermano Oscar shared his testimony. WOW!  He is so strong, so converted, and he is going to bring his whole family with him! It was just an incredible baptismal service and I’ll never forget it. I have been walking on clouds for days. 

Sunday, he arrived at church with mom, and then came his wife and their three kids and then about halfway through sacrament meeting ... Jose shows up! He came all by himself! This is the same kid that told us that he didn’t want to hear anymore ... shows up to church by himself! Wow!! They talked about temples and the importance of being sealed in the temple as a family and Hermano Oscar sent us a wink. We took a picture after church on Sunday.  Mexicans never smile in pictures.  Seriously! Check out the first picture. Then Jose says ¨Nooo, I don’t want this purse in the picture¨!!  Everyone starts dying laughing and the second picture is the most beautiful thing in the whole world!! 

Nehebka, the son of Hermano Oscar, asks me on Sunday ¨Hermana, when I get baptized and go to the temple to do baptisms, do I have to wait a long time?¨ I told him, as soon as your dad rents his house here, you and your mom can get baptized. You can go to the temple in two years. Later, Hermano Oscar tells us that leaving the baptism Saturday night his son says ¨Dad, I want to get baptized. How many more lessons do I need? Which ones am I missing?¨ Tears came to my eyes so fast.  Kids are so special, they are so sensitive to the Spirit, and they just want to follow the Lord. Wow, just a little tender moment :)

I love these people. I love them a whole lot, and I love the Lord. I love my mission and I love what I’m doing. It’s hard, sometimes it’s discouraging, every week is the challenge of what more can I do, how can I work harder, but it is so rewarding. There is nothing like the joy of serving a mission. It just makes me sad that it’s passing by faster and faster.  We’re going to come back and visit right??!!  I am the most happy I have ever been in my whole life.  I just want to live every moment to the fullest and do everything possible for these people here. 

I love you all tons!  Happy Thanksgiving this week! Eat some turkey for me! Be good! Love you all to the moon and back! 

Mexico Week 31 -- Lead Me, Guide Me, Walk Beside Me

My dear sweet family!  Everybody looks so grown up and happy! Wow! 

Karla came to church this week! She's one of our less active members that we found about a month and a half ago. We haven't been able to find her since, but she came to church with her mom and went to the Women's Conference Saturday night! Ahh, she is precious and just wants to do what's right. 

This lovely P-Day, we went to play the piano. I love the peace that brings. I am not really good at all, but I’m working with the simplified hymns! I was just singing and playing and thinking of the good days with Beth Ann Sands! She’ll be proud to know that I actually remember a few things! But really, the hymns are incredible. I love the peace and testimony that they bring. I know that they are gifts from our Father in Heaven and I just want to be who He needs me to be. 

Remember the HUGE family I told y’all about last week? We passed last week and only the abuelita was there. We started talking about prayer with her and she gets all teared up and tells us that she just prays every day that she’ll get up in the morning and want to live. She is really sick in her kidneys and has to go for dialysis three times a week. She tells us ¨Ya no puedo.¨or she just feels like she can’t. We give her some hugs and just let her think for a bit, and we talked about Joseph Smith when he was in Liberty Jail. The Spirit was so strong. They are an incredible family and we are going to work so much with them! 

This week we had exchanges with our Sister Training Leaders! I went to Reforma with Hermana Workman for 2 days! She has about 2 weeks in her area and it’s huge. We were pretty much lost and running around for two days, so many memories from our first weeks here. Friday, we went to her meeting with the ward mission leader and she had no idea how to get back to her area, and it was pouring rain. I forget the jacket and umbrella and we were both getting soaked and just laughing! Two white missionaries ... uhhh, do you know where we can the bus? Which bus goes for this part of town? Ha! Ha! After about an hour, I offered to pay a taxi. We get into a taxi, and it dies. About 20 minutes later we are headed back for her area! So funny!

I went back to my area Saturday and whew, I missed Tlaquepaque. In about a week, I will be halfway through my mission. I feel like time is going by faster and faster but I’m not really getting any better or helping people to have a better life. I just got really frustrated with myself, like I wasn’t being the missionary Heavenly Father needed me to be. On the bus ride to the stake center to see the Women’s Conference, I started praying, praying that He would help me, just asking Him what He wanted me to do. I prayed that in the conference He would tell me something. 

I absolutely loved the conference, especially the Asian kids singing I Am a Child of God. I guess you could say I was a little teared up. I felt the love of my Heavenly Father so strongly for the first time in a little while. I have to turn to Him more and trust Him more. He loves me so much and I started thinking about my own dad here, aka Papa Bear. He loves the heck out of me. He is my biggest cheerleader and He always wants what’s best for me. He is right there to help me whenever I need it, and I thought about my Heavenly Father. If my dad is imperfect and human and can still do all of these things, how much more can my Heavenly Father do these things? He love and support are even bigger. 

I just love the Lord. I am the farthest thing from perfect, but I do love Him. I want to be who He needs me to be. I want to believe in Him, I want to be like Him. I want to be a light to those around me. I want to do these every single day that will help me to be stronger and help me to shine more. There is so much work to do, but we don’t have to feel hopeless if we believe in the Lord. 

Sunday morning in sacrament meeting my little moment continued. During the sacrament, I was praying to know if there truly are people here that are willing to change their lives, if the Lord would guide me, if He would help me, and He answered me yes to every single one of these questions. I feel the strongest resolve just to work and forget about everything else. He promised me that there are people here and we have to find them. We have to be so, so strong! I think I need to stop trying to do this on my own. I think if I just open up a little more, He’ll guide me, He’ll teach me, and He’ll work miracles. 

Last night we went and visited our special family again. Their four-year-old twins are hilarious and slightly out of control. They are all members minus the dad. He has quite a few addictions and they need to get married, but last night we taught the Restoration. Wow, we felt the Spirit so strong and el hermano says ¨So how does this work, we need to get married first and then I can get baptized, and then the temple is after?¨ These are the moments that we read about in the scriptures, when people, after being taught say HOW? How can I have that? When they are willing to work. Mom, he has one of the cards you gave us that talks about change being a very real gift that comes from God. His wife told us that he taped it to the wall all by himself. Ahh, I love working with them because they are so special. Their family really means a lot to me, and we are going to work so diligently with them! 

I am happy. I am loving all that I’m learning and especially that I feel just a little bit better every week. I know that this is my time to act and just run around crazy working. I know that the Lord has miracles in store if I can just exercise my faith just a little bit more. 

I love you all to the moon and back and please let me know if there´s anything I can do for y’all!

Week 4 -- I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus

My familia!! I hope you all had a fantastic week! I miss y'all and love you too! 

To fill you in on the rest of my week, I saw Tamsyn, uh Sister Randall, at Devotional on Thursday!  Holy flip she leaves on the 11th! She is loving the MTC though and it's so good to run into people :) 

You'll be pleased to hear...Hermana Daniel has started teaching me how to play the piano! We found a simplified Hymn book and I've been practicing.  I'm really slow, but I love the way that it makes me feel.  It's really something I want to stick with!  I practically died when I opened my package today and saw my Hymn book from home in it!  I'll be practicing this next week and a half and I hope that I'll be able to use it in Mexico.  So I'm really not musical but I hope that Heavenly Father helps me out with this one because it's kind of becoming important to me :) 

Speaking of music, after lunch and before class one day this week, we pulled out the Children's Hymn Book and my whole district sang like 3 or 4 of them in Spanish. We were all sitting on the floor just singing, and the Spirit was so strong. I know that there is power in these children's songs. I love how simply they are phrased and we are reminded of the core messages of the gospel. I just can't wait to hear and teach these songs to kids in Mexico :) 

Today at the temple, we decided to do sealings which I've never done before! It was an amazing experience and pretty much sealed the deal that I can't get married anywhere else! I  feel so blessed that you and dad were sealed in the temple and that our family has the opportunity to be together forever, in an never ending state of joy with our Heavenly Father. I am so grateful that these blessings are in our home and I want them in my home as well.  My old bishop, Michael Jackson, from last semester was in our sealing session.  It was good to run into him and to be able to catch up.  He is so sweet and he's going to say hi to Em for me!  I also had the impression that I would be able to go to the temple with a family in Mexico.  Not sure if this was a real prompting or just my wishful thinking but I hope it's true. That would be so incredible. I guess we'll have to wait and see. 

In class one day this week, Hermano Hopoate talked about the personal power that comes from perfect obedience. He talked about how when we are perfectly obedient, the Lord is bound and we can say "you promised."  As I started thinking about what personal power really is, I realized that personal power is the power to not get irritated and instead think kind thoughts.  It is the power to have enough energy to make it through class.  It is the power to HSI (Habla Su Idioma).  It is the power to be patient in learning.  I have been striving to be more perfectly obedient and I am seeing the results.  This personal power is real! 

  

   

Since I love Hermano Hopoate, here's another story for you. One night we were talking about companionships and he was asking us what do we do when our companions don't want to be obedient? What do we do when they won't get up in the morning? What do we do when someone else effects how perfectly obedient we can be? His was answer was love-learning or how to love the way that the Savior does. I know that I can come to know Christ as I stand proxy for Him in other's lives. 

Hermano Hopoate also decided to meet with each of us individually to see what he could help us with. I went back to a classroom with him and he asked if he could open with a prayer. I said of course! As he started praying, he prayed for some incredible things.  The part that really stood out to me was when we said "Please bless Hermana Rawe that she might have the heart in order to love others the way they need to be loved."  He talked about praying for eyes to see and ears to hear that I might be able to learn how the Spirit talks to me.  I need to listen to what people say, but also what the Spirit helps me hear.  Once I believe I've received revelation on how to help, I need to pray before I act in which way to follow the Spirit.  I really want to love people; I want my heart to be full.  I want to do what I'm supposed to do with the Lord's trust.  I really look up to Hermano Hopoate a lot. It became my new goal to become like Him.  To truly love people, to be able to just listen to the Spirit and know what people need to hear, to know what I need to do.  

The next night after this experience, Hermana Daniel and I were conducting interviews with all of the hermanas.  I was interviewing an hermana from a lower district and at times, I would feel prompted to share certain advice or even just bear my testimony on different things.  She began really tearing up and I realized that Heavenly Father is using me as an instrument in His hands.  I'm definitely not perfect, but as I strive to be better, He will use me to bless and help His kids.  This is just something I really want to work on and strive for. 

I love you all! Every single person that reads this! I know that Christ is our Savior and that through Him, all things are possible. I know that Heavenly Father has a real plan for our lives and it is the only way that we will be truly happy. 

I love you all and hope you have a great week!