Oh my dear sweet family -- This week was a good one but a little bit harder!
So I was just feeling pretty inadequate in all honesty! I don’t
know, just pretty stressed and wanting to do a million things at one time and
worrying about what I’m teaching Hermana Buttars, then I lost my ATM card, then
I realized that I left the card for my camera at the internet café last week,
and yeah, when it rains, it pours. Then good ole Mom sent me the talk from
Jeffrey R. Holland about missionaries and the Atonement. What a good read! In
all honesty, I just felt super close to the Savior when I read it. I’m pretty
crazy if I ever expect anything in this life to be easy. I just felt like okay,
yeah, I can do this. I know that my Savior is by my side, that this is His
work, and that if I just open up a little bit and let Him in, then He’ll take
care of me. This week, I really loved the song ¨Who You Are¨ by Hillary Weeks.
I am not a mom or anything but I feel like I’m running around all day and at
the end of it all feel like I haven’t accomplished anything, but I have faith
in what I’m doing, and I know that sometimes we can’t see the fruits of the
little seeds we plant. Big mama’s got this!
So we moved! We finally live in our area but it’s an area I
really don’t know very well. So let’s
just say we had some pretty interesting experiences with buses this week! Whoa!
Ha! Ha! We just moved our suitcases and then went to work. Later, the elders
brought over the beds and fans and kitchen stuff and everything. We got home that
night to a house of boxes! You should have seen the two of us at midnight
trying to put together a bunk bed. Honestly, it was fun!
Okay now for some cool experiences this week. So one day, I felt
like we went to a million houses and nobody was home. I have the idea to visit
Rosa Elia. So we go that way and her daughter tells us she’s asleep. I’m
thinking...NOOOO! Her daughter is less active too but in all honesty, she’s not
usually very nice to us. She invited us in, offered us water, was being super
nice and I’m thinking ¨Who is this person¨! I ask her if we can share a message
and she says sure! At this point my
brain is practically exploding. Hermana Valdez and I asked probably a dozen
times and she always said no. We started singing and talking about the gospel.
She told us that she knows it is all true and that the gospel is perfect. She
just had a few people say things to her and she’s struggling to go back to
church. She told us about how she almost entered the temple and everything. She
wants her kids to go to church with their grandma. My whole brain was exploding
but it’s because I think our Heavenly Father always has a plan.
Yesterday, I felt like we should visit Rosa Elia. We passed by
and there was a huge party going on! It was Nicole and Ashley’s birthday party.
The two of them had huge princess dresses and everything. We had cake and sang
this wild Mexican birthday song and they gave us princess party favors. We ate
a little bit of food and then went to Rosa Elia’s room to share a message. She just
told us a ton of things and then started crying. She told us how alone she
felt, how more trials just keep coming, how she just didn’t know what to do, and
how maybe Christ wasn’t helping her because she was a sinner. She broke my heart,
but at the same time, it’s the most amazing experience to have someone open her
heart like that to you. How can you not just be filled with love? The words
just fell out of my mouth and I know it was by the Spirit. The people in that
house have a million and ten problems but they are incredibly special to
me.
I’m going to catch you all up on Antonio. So Esther had to go to
the hospital this week. Antonio was pretty fired up and a little ugly to us at
the beginning of the week. The stress just gets to him and I can’t imagine what
it’s like to be where he is. Hermana Claudia told us when Esther got home and
we went to sing to her. We sang and shared testimony and some scriptures and just
felt the strongest peace. I’m thinking this is why we needed to come by. We get
ready to leave and Antonio comes home. He’s sitting in a chair outside by
himself and I ask him how he is. He says, ¨Mal, muy mal.¨ He just started
talking about how hard it all is and then the water works start. I ask him if
we can share a short message and he tells us that the next day would be better.
I’ve never seen him more down and well, we just weren’t leaving. I ask him if
we can say a prayer and sing some hymns. He tells me sure! We starting singing
hymns and sharing testimony and it just felt really right. He is a tough, tough
man, but I know that if he’ll just open his heart, he’ll feel it. On Fridays,
we do service for two hours and we offered to clean his house! Claudia is
taking care of Esther all day and his daughters come every day, but they just
don’t clean.
This is the part where Hermana Buttars and Hermana Rawe become Ammon from the Book of Mormon serving King Lamoni. It was so fun cleaning his house! Not to mention it was a hot mess. You should have seen him practically skipping around, cracking jokes .. He was a hoot! I know that it’s the little seeds we’re planting. I know that we have faith to help him change and eventually he will. I just love him a ton and even though sometimes he really is a grumpy old fart, I know that he’ll open his heart one day and understand.
Well I love y’all a ton!
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